Apple pie of my eye.

There are two big barrels of apples outside on the porch that are really only good for baking.  'APPLE PIE!' said my brain this afternoon.  Apple pie is what you shall get, brain.  Also, it's Hummingbird's last night here!  I'm taking him to Olympia tomorrow on my way to Vancouver.

My mother makes amazing pie.  I used her apple pie recipe once when I was 14 and it turned out perfect!  These pies, however..... not so much.  It looked like a 14 year old made them.  They suck.  MY MISTAKE was making 2 pie crusts at once.  Don't do that.  It's a stupid idea.  You may think it saves time, but it really doesn't and my pie crust is going to be lame...  I already feel bad for it.  It's so ugly looking.

Here is the recipe my mother sent me this afternoon-

Pre-heat oven to 425 degrees, F.

CRUST

2 cups flour

1 teaspoon salt

Mix well with a fork until fine and well-blended.

Using a pastry cutter, cut in ¾ cup butter, until it resembles fine crumbs.

Stir in 5 – 6 tablespoons ice cold water, until it just starts to hold together.  Don’t over handle the pastry, or it will be tough and nasty.

On a floured board, roll out two-thirds of the pastry into a circle which will serve as your bottom crust.  Roll it out until it’s a couple of inches wider than your pie plate.

Carefully transfer pastry to pie plate.  If it tears, don’t re-roll it.  Just press torn edges together with your fingers.

Reserve remaining pastry for your top crust.

APPLE FILLING

8-10 medium to large apples

Everyone will tell you that Granny Smith apples are the best pie apple.  Whatever.  They’re hard and sour, and take forever to become tender in the oven.  If this is the type of apple you have (low sugar, crispy) then I pre-cook them on the stove top.  Peel, core and thinly slice the apples, and put them in a stock pot with a teensy bit of water over high heat, with a lid on.  Cook until nearly tender – 15 minutes???  Once there’s a boil going under the apples turn down the heat, and stir them every once in a while so they don’t burn.

If you have Golden Delicious, or another soft and sweet apple, you don’t need to pre-cook.  Either way, peel, core and slice, and then…

In a large bowl (you can use the bowl you made crust in – I do) toss apples with ¾ - 1 cup of sugar (depending on how sweet the apples are); 2 tablespoons of flour; 1 teaspoon of cinnamon; pinch of nutmeg.  Toss them around until all the apples are coated with sugar/flour/spice.

Place coated apple slices into the crust-lined pie plate.  Cut 2 tablespoons of butter into little chunks, and dot the apples with butter.

Roll out top crust, and carefully lie over the top.  Roll top crust edges over bottom crust edges, and crimp.  Brush crust with milk, and sprinkle with a teensy bit of sugar and cinnamon (not too much or it’ll scorch).

With a sharp knife, cut vent holes into top crust.

Place in oven and bake 40 – 50 minutes.  Peek at it at 30 minutes.  If the crust is getting too brown, cover lightly (don’t seal it) with foil, but continue baking until the apples are bubbling out of the vent holes and making a delicious mess.  You need to make sure you bake it until the apples are done and making sauce, or you’ll have crunchy pie, like Costco, and it sucks.

The end.  Love you.

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If I had pictures, I would show you this process, but, as you may know, I don't have batteries for my camera still!!!!!!!!!!!  And my pies are ugly, so I don't think I want you looking at them anyways.

But I bet they'll taste damn good.

ALSO.  Only bake 1 pie at a time or yooou'll beeee ssooorrryy.

I don't know what to say about this Japan thing... I just don't.